Put a conservative back in the White House and here is what we will do to take back this country for you, the people. This agenda will restore the proud dignity of our governmental institutions and religious and corporate interests nationwide. Here is our 12-point plan for your future.
1. The deficit is far too big. We need to cut spending for bloated social programs, science, and education so we can pay for increasing tax cuts for the wealthy and several wars.
2. Climate change? Doesn't exist, or if it does it is of no concern and not related to human activities. You must have missed our engaging example of the snowball in the Senate chamber. We will take care of setting the record straight on this one, once and for all.
3. Equal pay for equal work? Nah, why should we? Things are fine just the way they are.
4. Raise minimum wage to a living level? Nope. We are just talking about teenagers who don't really need much money, anyway. Besides, it would really hurt businesses to pay more to their workers.
5. Go Green with solar and wind power? That would be counter-productive since it would hurt the business profiles of dependable corporations in the fossil fuel industry, an industry that has been the backbone of our nation's success for well over a hundred years. We don't want to hurt tho$e good old boy$.
6. Upgrading the country's infrastructure? That is just a liberal talking point in favor of adding to our deficit some huge increases that we can't afford. What we need to do instead is increase our military spending to prepare for more wars.
7. Ban fracking on public lands? Don't be ridiculous. We need more fracking because it produces so much more gas and oil and has been declared safe by the industry that profits from it. In fact we should sell off some of that public land to corporations that would develop it for commercial use. As it is, that land is just sitting there going to waste.
8. Avoid drilling in the arctic because of the danger of oil spills? The danger is negligible. We have already had the biggest spill imaginable and things worked out just fine.
9. Investigating the corruption of political office holders? We are all for it, but let's limit this to one case at a time because we don't want to waste your tax dollars. And it all must begin with another investigation of the unnecessary tragedy at Benghazi. Once we have proven that it was all the fault of Hillary and Obama we can proceed to other cases of corruption.
10. Ending Obamacare? Yes, of course, we need to do this. And as soon as we have a viable replacement you can count on us getting rid of this horrendous program which serves no purpose whatsoever.
11. Protecting religious freedom? You can count on us to sign into law legislation that will protect your business-owner's right to refuse to render goods and services to anyone you so choose. Because, of course, it is your religious right to do so.
12. Protecting the second amendment? Definitely. Hillary Clinton would start taking away your guns on her first day in office. You need to be very, very scared of Hillary Clinton.
Cross-published at OpEdNews